I have been pondering for quite some time whether to dive in and give my opinion on the topic of self-regulation or regulation in blog format. Well, the first draft of this blog became quite lengthy so I’ve rewritten it to hopefully be more concise and informative… Turns out that there is quite a lot to say on the topic!
Self-regulation is a term that was not used all that much in the occupational therapy sphere back in the day, but it is now one I and my clients use on a regular basis. But do we really understand what self-regulation is, why it is important, and what we can do if our children struggle in this area?
To answer my own questions:
- No – I do not think everyone has the same understanding or interpretation of self-regulation;
- Kind of – we know self-regulation is important but we don’t necessarily understand why;
- Another “Kind of” – most of us have some idea about how to go about helping our children, but we are not quite sure.
A working definition:
When you look at the literature, you will find that there are various definitions given for self-regulation. It is often mentioned interchangeably with “executive functioning” and described as “…the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. Just as an air traffic control system at a busy airport safely manages the arrivals and departures of many aircraft on multiple runways, the brain needs this skill set to filter distractions, prioritize tasks, set and achieve goals, and control impulses” (1)
In this context, self-regulation can be viewed as the ability to self-manage, with each person’s aircrafts being determined by their age, roles and responsibilities. For instance, a working adult who is also a parent may need to manage getting the kids out of the house, do the school drop off in the morning, drive to work and be productive once there, manage the school pick up, drive the kids to various after school activities, oversee homework, cook and clean up, get the kids to bed, and breath somewhere in between. However, a child’s aircrafts may involve dressing themselves, brushing their teeth, remembering to take all their homework to school, sitting in class to learn new things, writing, doing maths, sharing the glue stick with a peer they don’t get along with, playing with others on the playground, doing their homework once home, eating their peas, and getting themselves ready for bed.
I want to point out that in a day we are not just managing ourselves to get through a number of tasks, but that each task in itself requires specific skills. Just like not all aircrafts are the same size, not all tasks are equal in terms of what they demand of us. Some tasks will require us to not speak out of turn in a meeting, or shouting out an answer in class. Some tasks will require that we remember and/or write down a number of instructions given to us at the start of an activity by a manager or a teacher. Some tasks will require that we show flexibility with tackling a problem at work or playing a game differently to how we wanted, and keeping our emotional responses intact.
Meeting the demands of our various daily tasks may be easy for us, or difficult, depending on our individual strengths and challenges. That is why I want to suggest that we view self-regulation in terms of task participation, as it is easier to monitor whether we feel “up to a task” and/or have the necessary skills set for engagement. In the book, “Occupational Therapy for Children with DME or Twice Exceptionality” that I co-authored with Rebecca Howell, we offer the following working definition of self-regulation that perhaps explains this better:
“The ability of a person to independently monitor if they feel calm, ready or “up to the task” for the various activities they engage in throughout the day, in other words whether they can appropriately meet the occupational and/or self-regulatory demands of that particular activity, and to adjust as necessary. The ability to appropriately self-regulate develops throughout childhood. Difficulties with self-regulation can be due to a variety of reasons such as sensory processing differences, unhelpful thought patterns, attention difficulties, anxiety and emotional distress, to name but a few.”
I am aware that this definition leans more towards emotional regulation, which is a subcategory of executive functioning alongside behavioural and cognitive regulation – the latter two which I do not discuss directly in this blog. However, I am of the opinion that most people think of emotional regulation when they talk about self-regulation, and I am inclined to agree.
Why self-regulation is important:
In a nutshell, self-regulation is the route to becoming as independent as possible in performing the tasks we need to do or want to do. When we are able to monitor whether we can appropriately meet the occupational and/or self regulatory demands of an activity, and adjust as necessary, we grow in our independence and sense of self-mastery, which helps build our self-esteem.
However, as you will undoubtedly know, not everyone is able to ‘self-monitor’ whether they can appropriately meet the occupational and/or self regulatory demands of an activity. Even if someone is able to self-monitor, they may not be able to make the necessary adjustments for the task. This is either because they are too young or because of another barrier that they may or may not be aware of, such as needing to write neater but just not being able to do it despite lots of practice. These challenges all contribute to difficulties with self-regulation or emotional regulation. They are also the reasons why it is so important that we come alongside children to help them develop their self-regulation through co-regulation (the interactive process where parents/carers and educators help children manage their emotions in line with age expectations), address specific difficulties such as in the example of handwriting, or both.
What you can do when your child struggles with self-regulation:
When you view self-regulation through the lens of task participation, it may help to try and figure out what the specific demands of the task are that your child is struggling with. Are they expected to colour well between the lines but they keep going over, causing them frustration? Are they struggling with friends because they are still developing their ability to share and take turns? Are they struggling when changes to their daily routine are brought on too quickly?
When you have a clearer idea of the specific challenges leading to self-regulatory difficulties, you may be able to help your child yourself through strategies such as playing games where you model sharing toys or waiting your turn, or perhaps giving them more notice when you know their day is going to be different than usual, for example when you’ve been informed that the school will have a scheduled fire alarm drill.
There may be times when you just can’t put your finger on why your child is having difficulties with self-regulation, and it may then be a good idea to speak to your child’s teacher, an occupational therapist, child psychologist, speech pathologist, or another suitable professional.
If your child does end up working with a clinician, it is crucial that you all work together in helping your child. This, in my opinion, is the best chance of your child becoming as independent as possible with self-regulation.
Until next time.
Mariza Ferreira
Paediatric Occupational Therapist
(1) Centre on the Developing Child (n.d) Executive Function & Self Regulation. https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/.
